Matching client affect, an important aspect of attunement, is something that I have been working on (and working on)… I am typically soft-spoken (although if you ask my husband…) hmmm… okay, I’ll amend that. I am typically softer-spoken in session with my clients. Especially after learning about EFT’s RISSSC (Repeat, Images, Soft, Slow, Simple, Client’s Words); I really took the “Soft, Slow” part to heart.
But soft and slow doesn’t work with clients who are escalated in anger or frustration. They feel missed, not heard, not understood. And then they will most likely work even harder (and with more energy) to get you to understand how PISSED OFF! or UPSET! they are. And the soft and slow that is so magical in calmer moments gets mowed right over.
This week, practice matching your client’s energy level — validate them with matched animation and spirit, and then see if you can ease into the “soft, slow” affect of RISSSC and bring your client with you, one gradual step at a time. If they don’t follow you down that gradual step, reverse and re-join them in their affect again. Validate. Validate again. “YES, OF COURSE YOU GET MAD WHEN YOU LOOK OVER AT YOUR HUSBAND AND HE HAS NOTHING TO SAY!”… (then try a little slower, a tiny bit softer)… “nothing to say to you…his wife…” And depending on whether your client is with you, you can stay right there and explore. If your client escalates back up, go with her. (And of course I could easily be saying “go with him”.)
I hope this helps!